The Five Love Languages As A Form Of Self-Care For Singles and Couples

March 27, 2022

I first learned about The five Love Languages when I started my graduate studies where I was studying clinical social work, concentrating in mental health. As part of a couples therapy course, I was assigned to read  The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and I found myself so intrigued and fascinated by this topic of love languages and how it can impact our personal relationships both platonic and romantic! More specifically, I became very interested in how understanding our own love language as well as those who we deeply care about can serve as  a form of self-care. As social human beings, we crave connection to others and understanding love languages can help us ask for what we need and give what those we want to connect with need.

 The Five Love Languages As A Form Of Self-Care For Singles and Couples

What Are The Five Love Languages: The Five Love Languages book is an easy read and you will quickly identify the love languages of significant relationships in your life. You will likely find you have a primary love language and a secondary love language. In addition, you can take the quiz online to get an overview that may help you understand how you value each love language (you can find that link here). The five love languages:

Quality Time – giving undivided attention to your loved one.
Physical Touch – appropriate physical connection is deeply important to feeling loved.
Receiving Gifts – a heartfelt gift feels like love
Acts of Service – doing something special feels like love
Words of Affirmation – when words are used to affirm, uplift and share feelings

Love Languages And Self-Care For Couples:  The interesting part of knowing these love languages is that if your love language is quality time, then that is how you are going to show your partner love. This is where miscommunication can happen and misunderstandings that could prevent you and your partner or a friend from feeling close, supported and loved. Your partner’s love language might be acts of service so when you want to do something together (quality time) your partner may be thinking, yeah this is all great, but I really wish you would have helped me earlier in the day when I had a thousand errands to do. I know personally, that this has been an issue for myself in the past as I am someone whose main love language is quality of time and gifts with acts of service being on the lower end of priority. Now that I know of this, I can be more communicative and help myself and my partner to understand that for me to feel connected I need that one on one time with regularity. Understanding the love languages has helped me to better practice self-care in a relationship because now that I know that there are different forms of ways to express and feel love, I can ask for what it is that I need and vice-versa.

Love Languages And Self-Care For Singles: On the contrary, when you are single it can help you with your platonic relationships and understanding how a relative or a bestie receives love and to communicate your own needs with them but it can also help you in showing yourself love! Personally, I think everyone can benefit from spending time on their own and in a sense – dating themselves by ordering yourself your favorite meal from your favorite restaurant after a long day or  ordering a pair of shoes you have been eyeing for months or maybe it is blocking off the weekend to give yourself such much needed (quality) alone time! Knowing how exactly you can show yourself some extra love is a great way to practice self-care. 

If you enjoyed reading this post on self-care tips for singles and couples in regards to the five love languages, check out my post on coping with relationship anxiety